I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
