we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
