biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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