you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize