READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
