i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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