i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Do you remember whose house we're in?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
