Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
