You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize