your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize