i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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