so that wasnt chicken after all
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i dont even know how to be here
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
