Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I think i got beer on your cat.
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