Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
