I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
she smelled like a LAN party
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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