my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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