i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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