Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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