we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
