yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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