She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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