He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
