Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Randomize
