Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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