Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
