There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize