i just had sex bonerless
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
