Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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