How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
