just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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