Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I wish I only lived at night.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
