Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
