I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
this boner is exhausting
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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