after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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