who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
