The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
