Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
