so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
