just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
