you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
