just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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