So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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