office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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