I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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