and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
