I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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