their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize