Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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