the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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