Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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