She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
