"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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