Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
