i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize