just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
