im gay
i know
yea but for you.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
