thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
