I threw up into my coffee this morning.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize