at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
