Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize