I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I understand Curling. That high.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
the raccoons are back...
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