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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Being persistent has its perks my friend.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.

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• (510): View more from California

  Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.

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• (972): View more from Texas

  the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.

  (214): View more from Texas

  elevator sex. pronto.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese

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