I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
