sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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