Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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