There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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