mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Randomize
