If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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