Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
porn star boner night. come get it.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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