OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
