grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
