we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
This baby is an asshole
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
